When the Next Step Feels Scary
We've all been there. Standing on the edge of something amazing. Standing at the crossroads of a decision. Standing with the phone in our hands, needing to make a call, make a decision, make a move.
We want to move forward on a project, deepen a relationship, take the next step. But. We. Just. Can't.
Stuck.
It's one of the worst feelings in the world, and even more so when you are a leader who cannot afford to be stuck.
The question that we must grapple with is: Why?
Followed quickly by: How do I move through this? How do I move into action?
Whenever my clients find themselves in this space, we pull out the Enneagram. Specifically we pull out the list of "identifications".
Each Enneagram type has an identification of who they feel they HAVE to be. The reason we are stuck is very likely because who we have to be in order to take that next step contradicts our Enneagram type's identification.
Let me explain.
As someone who leads with Type 3, my identification is someone who is OUTSTANDING. Someone who projects a powerful image of success. When I feel most stuck is when I am feeing called to step into a space where my success is not guaranteed -or- I don't know what image would be seen as successful.
I was recently invited to work with a governing board of a major organization, and my first meeting I was stiff as the tin man with no oil. Lots of friction, very little flow. I asked myself why I felt this way and I realized: I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. Therefore, I don't know what they want from me, and so I cannot possible know what image of success to project.
Being stuck for me was directly connected with me being unable to satisfy the idealization of my type structure.
As soon as I realized that I could being to coach myself to a solution, return to my flow state, take right action, show up in authenticity and easily embody my general bad ass-ery.
Understanding our type's identification is crucial to identifying why there is friction around taking the next steps we know we need to, but just can't seem to take.
Here are the identifications for each type.
Type 1: I need to be someone who is right, knows what's expected of me and strives toward excellence.
Type 2: I need to be someone who is helpful to others, connects with and prioritizes their needs.
Type 3: I need to be someone who is outstanding, and projects an image of success.
Type 4: I need to be someone who has freedom to do things my way, be different and authentic to my unique vision.
Type 5: I need to be someone who is prepared and has all the resources I need to do the job well.
Type 6: I need to be someone who is loyal and responsible, who feels supported by my team and community.
Type 7: I need to be someone who is free to pursue the new, innovate and stay agile and open.
Type 8: I need to be someone who has autonomy and agency to execute my vision quickly and powerfully.
Type 9: I need to be someone who brings balance and perspective, who pursues harmony within myself and with others.
Could your subconscious need to fulfill this idealization be causing friction for you? Need help connecting the dots? The Enneagram Workshop specializes in a coaching approach that works with your personality type structure to both aid in powerful self awareness and effective strategies that unlock your highest potential. Book a discovery call to learn more about how this approach might support you or your team.
