When the Next Step Feels Scary

Uncategorized Apr 27, 2022

We've all been there. Standing on the edge of something amazing. Standing at the crossroads of a decision. Standing with the phone in our hands, needing to make a call, make a decision, make a move. 

We want to move forward on a project, deepen a relationship, take the next step. But. We. Just. Can't. 


It's one of the worst feelings in the world, and even more so when you are a leader who cannot afford to be stuck. 

The question that we must grapple with is: Why?
Followed quickly by: How do I move through this? How do I move into action? 

Whenever my clients find themselves in this space, we pull out the Enneagram. Specifically we pull out the list of "identifications". 

Each Enneagram type has an identification of who they feel they HAVE to be. The reason we are stuck is very likely because who we have to be in order to take that next step contradicts our Enneagram type's identification. 

Let me explain. 

As someone who leads with Type 3,...

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Right Action: Knowing What to Do and Doing It

Uncategorized Jan 18, 2022

In the Enneagram we work with the law of three a lot. 

The law of three states that there are two "opposing" forces (aka: negative and positive) and a third reconciling force (proton, electron, neutron). When we allow for both opposing forces to be present, the neutralizing force almost naturally emerges. It is in the acceptance of the seemingly conflicting energies that we find true balance and deep alchemy. 

And so, the work is to not reject any force, but allow both to come in and find the intrinsic balance. When we do this, what emerges is "Right Action". 

Right Action is the ability to see what is before you, as objectively as possible, and know what is the right course of action to take in this moment, and have the resources and agency to do so. 

It is POWERFUL when someone wields Right Action. It creates a grounded, streamlined movement through life. The ability to see clearly, think strategically and act effortlessly with confidence and efficiency is what...

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Emotional Intelligence is Vital

I work with large corporate clients and budding solopreneurs all the time. The question when in any business, no matter the size, is: "How do I maximize my resources?" 

How do I get the most bang for my buck? The most efficiency for my time? 

When facing a perceived "lack" in business, we have two options:

1) Find more
2) Get more out of what you already have

It may feel sexier to go with option one, but it is so much easier to at least give option two a try. 

What does this have to do with Emotional Intelligence? 

If we consider that humans are the most valuable resource we have in our business (and this includes solopreneurs - YOU are your most valuable asset) then it only makes sense to nurture humans, commit ourselves to their thriving, and give them to tools for self-care, interpersonal navigation and innovation. 


If the humans in our businesses are not engaging in self-care (I know it's a buzz word these days, stay with me)...

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Setting Goals for Each Enneagram Type

Uncategorized Dec 31, 2020

When we begin to set goals, usually we dive right in. We think about who we want to be, what we might want to do or see or experience, and we put it up on the old vision board. 

But, if you are anything like me, this haphazard way of goal setting leaves me disillusioned and frustrated by ....ummmm February? (If I'm lucky)

How can we set more mindful goals with a greater chance of achievement? 

Well, in this video we are going to discuss how our sense of self-worth and our ability to take risks and what risks we tolerate, influence what kind of goals we are able to execute on. 

Both self-worth AND our ability to take risks are connected to our Enneagram type. Our Enneagram type shows us where we might be tempted to place our worth (for every type, we are tempted to place our worth OUTSIDE of ourselves). 

As soon as we raise our self-worth and as soon as we are able to notice what feels "risky" to our ego and confront that fear, and understand what lies beneath...

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The Enneagram & Body Image

The idea that there is one “ideal” or preferred or superior body type, physical features or capabilities is as ridiculous as believing there is one ideal Enneagram type.

And yet....

We see the dehumanization of us all, constantly, as this lie of the “ideal” body image swirls around us. The very air we breathe.

How can we confront and heal from it? We MUST dehumanize. We must take back our humanity from IMAGE to essence.

Today I have some thoughts on where each type MAY struggle with Body Image and some thoughts to help bring about freedom.

This is the topic and the work we are doing ALL MONTH long in my Enneagram Community. If this is the work you need to do, send me a DM.

I honor and respect all of you on this journey to loving your self and your body in a world that tells you not to.

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Enneagram and Shame


(If you would prefer to consume this episode in audio format, Click Here)

 (If you would prefer to consume this episode in audio format, Click Here)

 (If you would prefer to consume this episode in audio format, Click Here)

Shame manifests differently for each type, and as with all our Enneagram work, we must start with self-observation. Getting to know the nuances of how shame shows up for us can help us better identify it and begin to root it out. This is SO important because the nature of shame it that it is most powerful when it is hidden to us and we believe the SHAME we feel is TRUE. 

Only when we identify shame as such, can we distance ourselves from it and no longer allow ourselves to internalize it's toxic message. 

Now, as I dive into how shame manifests for each type, it is SUPER important for me to add this disclaimer: These are STARTING POINTS from which to do your own observation. These are not prescriptive - these are not...

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Defining our terms: Ego and Essence


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Have you ever listened to an Enneagram teacher and they throw out some terms that you aren't fully understanding?? Today I am defining two terms: Ego and Essence. 

Ego = False Self
Essence = True Self

Before we go too much further let me just say that neither "self" is bad or good. They are simply two ways of being that do carry with them some consequences, but that's all. I don't want to vilify either of these two ways of being. Both belong. 

Let's start with False Self and Ego. I use these two terms interchangeably. It's the self that we feel that we have to be to make our way in the world. It's a self that is not our true essence, but something we have manufactured. Typically this is something that we create early on in our childhood. We perceive a lack in our "holding" (the environment in which we grew up) and when we perceive this lack we try to create balance by fabricating a...

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The Enneagram and Spiritual Practices


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Don't hear what I'm not saying (one of my childhood friend's dad used to say this all the time).

I do not believe the Enneagram can only be useful to ONE religious perspective. I believe the Enneagram transcends religion and can be useful and pulled into all religions and spiritualities. 

However, it IS a tool for spiritual growth, so we are going to go there. 

In my 5 Day Enneagram Challenge I talk a lot about how the Enneagram is a MAP. It's a guide to show us where we begin our journey, where we want to end, how we move and how we might plot a way to get there. 

All Enneagram work should end in freedom - transforming BEYOND our personality and finding that this persona, this armor that we carry is restricting us, it's causing us pain and it's no longer necessary. We begin to take off the armor as we make our way through Enneagram work. 

Removing the armor requires a spiritual...

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Stereotypes and Figuring out your Enneagram Type

Uncategorized Oct 01, 2020


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Ok friends, we need to talk. 

Enneagram is NOT about behavior it is about motivation. 

I know, you've probably heard that one MILLION times (as have I) and yet....our silly little brains keep wanting to pull our conversation and the way we think about Enneagram to BEHAVIORS. 

Today we are going to talk about how stereotypes (which are always revolving around BEHAVIORS) keep us from finding our type. 

Enneagram work is not about behavior modification, it is not about behavior classification, it is about understanding our core motivations and using that information to aid us (provide a map for us) in our quest for SPIRITUAL growth and transformation. 

So, anytime we reduce it down to or get stuck in behaviors it will create confusion. 

Now, don't get me wrong, our core motivations can certainly MANIFEST in certain patterns of behaviors - absolutely. However, I have found that...

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Rest and each Enneagram Type

I’m on vacation, and I’m SUPPOSED to not be working. But I can’t help thinking about REST. Why is it so hard for us to TRULY rest (not just numb and disengage…which is a side effect of NOT resting regularly and in a healthy way)?
Here are some thoughts around rest and each Enneagram type. 
I know for ME, when I am not prioritizing proper rest habits, I am in ego, I get close to burnout, I hold stress in my body and I am NOT my best, healthiest self. 
And…my compulsion to avoid rest stems DIRECTLY from the lie that MY type tricks me into believing is true. 
Oftentimes when we resist resting it’s a form of rejecting BOTH our divinity and humanity. Not standing in the DIGNITY and love that are ours by birthright, the divinity that our SPIRIT holds. 
Rejecting our humanity, not allowing ourselves to have flaws, weaknesses, live in mystery or any other number of things that make us...
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